An Epic Family Reunion

Written By Salma Ali

Over Thanksgiving break we had a family reunion: 60 family members, some whom we had never met, others new to our family, from as far as Malaysia and Singapore, ages 5 months to 87 years, gathered on the Chesapeake Bay for four days of gratitude and celebration. To say that it was epic, would be the understatement of the year!

We started with a traditional Thanksgiving feast with halal turkeys and sides and pies galore and carried on our longtime ‘thankful-for’ tradition—we each write one specific thing we’re grateful for that year; these are read aloud and everyone has to guess who said what. Arif’s gratitude was summed up in three letters—MSK (iykyk); many wondered why he was thanking (and misspelling) the civil rights leader. Laughter ensued, a constant refrain all weekend long. My 9-year old niece who lives in KL and doesn’t get to see family as often said to her older cousin, “I think this is going to be the best time of my life!”

Friday started with an inspiring khutba (sermon) on the definition of “success”.  My cousin led us through major battles in Islamic history and drew on our Prophet’s example to identify the criteria for success. In brief, three things, he explained: your sincerity of purpose, your hard work in pursuit of your goals, and your commitment to a greater good. If you achieve these three inputs, you are successful no matter the output, win or lose. It was beautiful to see the kids sitting with the elders taking it all in, no doubt translating this message to their own life experiences. 

Family Olympics was all-out competition! Who knew rock/paper/scissors, an egg+spoon relay race, and sustaining a giant jenga tower could lead to such rivalry—actually if you know our family, no surprise whatsoever! (See video 😎). We wore our ‘Matin’ t-shirts, with Mardi Gras beads and face paint to delineate teams, and even had an AI-generated family anthem for the opening ceremony! I screamed, literally screamed, in excitement when my red team won the egg+spoon relay. I never scream, I can hardly raise my voice. It was a year’s worth of pent-up emotion being released…

Festivities continued with a celebration of five of our beloved men who all turned 60 this year, including Arif and my brother. Their respective kids toasted each one, and we had to break out the tissues—and they roasted them equally as brilliantly!

These memories will sustain us for years to come, it was truly a precious time spent together. What made it extra special was to have our elders with us, to be in the comfort of their presence, and to hear the stories that root us—of our grandparents and our ancestors, of where we come from and our place in history, of what our family has endured and achieved, and the foundations of our values.

My khala talked about her parents and her brothers and sister who are no longer with us, and thought how proud they must be looking down on us, how we honor their legacy by preserving our bonds. Mami Jaan, who has written a book on our family history, told us about the patriarch of the Matin family, my great grandfather Khan Bahadur Haji Rashid Ahmad—an eloquent orator, a sagacious businessman, a passionate civic leader, and a deeply devout person. He was a member of the Muslim League delegation to the Third Round Table Conference in London in 1933, fought for the rights of Muslims, and championed education by helping establish two high schools, which continue to this day in Delhi. When he died, the entire town mourned, thousands gathered for his funeral because their ‘father’ had passed.

We all stood a little bit taller after hearing on whose shoulders we stand.

A week before our reunion I had the privilege of experiencing extraordinary poet Amir Sulaiman perform at The Concordia Forum in Atlanta. Each of his poems took my breath away, but it was his last one that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. After spending these beautiful days with our elders and youngsters, Amir’s words engender even more meaning, urgency and feeling of responsibility.

“You will be someone’s ancestor,” Amir said. “Act accordingly.”

You will be someone′s ancestor

Act accordingly

We are counting our blessings counting our losses

Lost in memories of lost kin

We all want a long life

But the cost is the longer our life the more often

We will have to see our loved ones lay in their coffins

This is not to darken our spirits

Rather to harken to a life worth living

For our children

For our children's children

So when those weapons are inevitably formed against them

Your granddaughter can whisper through gritted teeth

I am the granddaughter of so and so

And I shall not fail

You will be someone′s ancestor

Act accordingly

I’m including Amir Sulaiman’s full poem below with his permission, it is so powerful mA. I hope you’ll also listen to it here, the way he recites it takes it to a whole another level, mA.

One year ago today, I had my mammogram that set me on this year’s journey. This evening iA I’m heading to Portugal with my family to rest, reflect, and replenish.

I’m looking forward to sharing more stories with you in the new year iA, I hope you’ll share yours with me too. If you’ve been enjoying receiving this newsletter, may I ask you to forward this to one other person, or two or three, and invite them to subscribe (recent newsletters are linked below so they can get an idea). I love writing these missives, and I’d love for them to reach others who might enjoy or benefit from them too. Thank you.

I’m wishing each of you the joys of the season, memorable moments with your family, and a very blessed new year.

With all my love,

Salma

PS: If anyone would like to order the ‘30 Days Journal’ as a meaningful holiday gift, please order today for a special discount! The 30 Days book is available here.

You Will Be Someone′s Ancestor — Amir Sulaiman

You will be someone’s ancestor

Act accordingly

We are counting our blessings counting our losses

Lost in memories of lost kin

We all want a long life

But the cost is the longer our life the more often

We will have to see our loved ones lay in their coffins

This is not to darken our spirits

Rather to harken to a life worth living

For our children

For our children's children

So when those weapons are inevitably formed against them

Your granddaughter can whisper through gritted teeth

I am the granddaughter of so and so

And I shall not fail

You will be someone′s ancestor

Act accordingly

When your grandson is surrounded by the enemy

On the battlefield of life

With his weapon raised over his raised head

He will exclaim

I am the grandson of so and so

And that will be an inspiration for those with him

And a warning for those who stand against him

You will be someone's ancestor

Act accordingly

Give fear no breath

Give it no quarter

Fear is not fitting for a woman of God

It is not fitting for a man of God

Regardless why be afraid?

Death has already mounted his swift steed

And is traveling at speed for your throat

There is no turning him back

You will be someone's ancestor

So act accordingly

By God there are women in their graves more alive than many of the living

By God there are men lying still beneath the earth still more active than the activist

Would you dare let the dead outlive you?

What a shame to let the dead outlive you

You will be someone′s ancestor

Act accordingly

For God said did you think that we had created you in play with no purpose

And that you would not be brought back to us

Don′t return to the most high

Unrealized unactualized

Don't let delay decay your vision

Don′t let decay devour your dreams

You will be someone's ancestor

Act accordingly

God put that unsung song in your spirit for our hearts

He put that unspoken word on your tongue for our ears

He put that undone deed in your body for our world

Your unsung song is our anthem

Your untold story is our history our prophecy

We need it

We need you

You will be someone′s ancestor

Act accordingly

Salma Ali
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