This is 58!

This past week I was able to do one of my most favorite things—give a talk about what I’m passionate about. It was an event for the book I created for Nature Sacred called BenchTalk: Wisdoms Inspired in Nature, at The House at 1229, a beautiful club for women change makers in downtown DC. (Video of my remarks)

The last speaking event I did before my diagnosis was exactly a year ago; it was a similar book talk at Brunello Cucinelli in New York City. The theme then was nature’s healing power and mental health, this time the focus was on gratitude. For me, this was a full circle moment; it felt good to be out there sharing stories again, engaging with people, signing books, and spreading hope—this energizes me more than anything else and makes me feel most myself, most whole.

BenchTalk is a collection of wisdoms that people wrote in little yellow journals tucked under benches in public green spaces around the country. I find it amazing that people are willing to share such intimate and meaningful messages in journals that they know are going to be read by others—why be so vulnerable, why share encouraging words with strangers? I think it’s because we all long to be heard, to feel connected, to share some kindness, to say our piece.

I’ve turned to BenchTalk many times these past few months for a quick dose of hope—like these entries:

“You have gone through so much to make it to where you are today. I am proud of you. Life is hard, and here you are surviving. Take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. Don’t give up. You are strong enough, smart enough, good enough. You are enough.”
“When faced with troubles, remember—tell your lungs to slow its breathing, and tell your heart to slow its beating.”

*with Nature Sacred CEO Alden Stoner, 11/20/24*

*with Brunello Cucinelli CEO Massimo Caronna, 11/14/23*

Between these two book events a lot has changed, even if the only visible difference seems to be my hairstyle.

As I’m finding out, cancer is a journey that continues well beyond the end of formal treatments, in quiet, sometimes painful ways, not obvious to others. It also transforms you, so there’s really no going back to your pre-cancer self. There is a definite BBC (before breast cancer) and ABC. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I’m still trying to figure out what these changes are for me and how I’m going to live my life differently as a result, but today on my 58th birthday as I reflect on this past year there are a few thoughts I wanted to share with all of you.

There’s something my radiation oncologist said to me early on in this process that I just can’t shake. She said, “cancer has declared itself in your body.” It’s such a bold and scary sentiment. I’m sure she didn’t think twice about it when she said it, but I can’t seem to forget it. Yes, cancer can come back; it often does. But as soon as this thought enters my mind, I remind myself of something else a doctor, my medical oncologist, said to me: “this doesn’t have to be your destiny.” It’s important to stay present, to stay positive, to live boldly even with uncertainty, because there are no guarantees in life, for any of us.

As I look forward, especially during this week of gratitude, I’m focusing on what is right in front of me—a birthday with my husband, kids and cousins, feasting and lolling and eating cake, and writing to you. And a thanksgiving weekend that will be a family reunion of 60 of us from near and far! What a blessing.

The night before my birthday, my son asked me to reflect on what memories I’m excited to make in the next 20 years, from age 58 to 78, especially if there are no limitations or obligations. I loved his question as it gave me a chance to dream and wonder. I instantly started recounting the adventures I’d love to have, traveling to different parts of the world spending time in places to really get to know the people and hear their stories. It felt energizing just to think about these experiences. Looking forward is an important part of healing too.

As we get ready for this holiday of giving thanks, I feel truly grateful for the blessings that this journey is gifting to me—one of which is perspective. The title of this newsletter, “What a majestic year this has been for you”, is the first line in a birthday card that my cousin wrote to me. He continued, “I know some would say it was a difficult, challenging year. I think not. I think that you’ve shown that confronting challenges is an important, if not the most important, ingredient of a successful life. A life well lived. A life experience which leaves examples and models for others to emulate...” Thank you for this perspective.

Another blessing of this journey is discovering the beauty of this humanKINDcommunity. I want to express my gratitude to each one of you, for reading these missives, for writing such thoughtful messages, for being in my corner through it all. I know for a fact that I could not have gotten through these months without knowing I could turn to you, to exhale and unburden, and regain strength and sustenance.

On my birthday and during this week of giving thanks, I wanted to share these thoughts with you, with my abiding gratitude.

Wishing you all a joyous Thanksgiving.

With all my love,

Salma