If you’re not being criticized…

Dalia Mogahed is Research Director at ISPU and a dear friend; her TED talk is one of my all-time favorites.

Dalia had come to our home for a Syrian cooking class and dinner when between chopping and taking notes on how to cook kabsa, I had a chance to ask her what wisdom from an elder holds special meaning for her.

“My Baba would say,” Dalia starts but has to pause to hold back tears, “that if nobody’s criticizing you, that means you’re not doing any work. Criticism is evidence of the fact that you’re doing something worthy.”

“The Prophet (pbuh) is perfect, but he was being criticized,” she adds. “There’s no way to do work and not be criticized, because if there was, it’s the Prophet who would have achieved this. Criticism is evidence of work.” 

Dalia’s father would say this to her when she was in college. She was an activist and would organize events and write articles, and would be criticized, usually by members of the Muslim community. Dalia’s husband interjects, “it’s still happening now!” “It’s been my life-long story,” Dalia laughs.

Dalia turns to this wisdom daily because “it’s important to remind yourself so you don’t get discouraged or want to quit, because that’s what I felt like doing as a 17 year old.”

Dalia’s Baba’s advice is included in 30 Days: Stories of Gratitude, Traditions, and Wisdom.

“Salma’s ‘30 Days’ book is a collection of gems, celebrating the extraordinary wisdom of ordinary people. I was so honored to have contributed my father’s sage advice to me growing up, advice I still call on today. This book is a perfect gift for a loved one or for your own self care.”  — Dalia Mogahed