When Arif Met Salma
We met over 35 years ago. He was cooking in Wallach Hall at Columbia. I was dropping off a dish I had prepared for the potluck dinner hosted by the Organization of Pakistani Students that evening.
As he likes to tell the story – I walked into the suite, he turned around and saw me, and poured the whole bottle of red pepper in his curry!
That evening, he tried to impress me – with his knowledge of world politics, his worldliness, his travels across the globe. I wasn’t the least bit interested.
You have to imagine, here’s a guy wearing a blazer, bow tie and suspenders, speaking in a thick English accent — he had recently arrived in the U.S. from Westminster School in London — looking and sounding a bit too full of himself; and there I was, shy and reserved, hardly haven spoken to a boy in high school, feeling way too self conscious and nervous, just waiting for an excuse to leave.
Wallach Hall, Columbia, 1986
For the next two years, he persisted.
He was an Engineering major; I was Poli Sci. When he realized I wouldn't go out with him, he somehow ‘engineered’ finding out which courses I was taking, changed his major (!), and turned up in several of my classes every semester. That's how we got to know each other — over game theory and bagels on the Low Library steps.
He tucked poems he had written in my locker at Butler Library, woo'd me by singing Elvis songs, and planned picnics on the quad. He painted a picture of the world we would discover together.
It was irresistible. ❤️
We’ll celebrate our 34th anniversary in a few months — a life full of travel, fun, adventure, unforgettable experiences, two amazing kids — one who’s now at Columbia — and, yes, some pain and heartache along the way. He still makes me laugh, holds me up when I’d rather fall, polishes off my sensitivities, and lets me believe that I can do anything.
Celebrating Zayd’s admission to Columbia, 2022. (I’m wearing my sweatshirt from when I was at Columbia, 37 years ago!)