*Dr. Azizah al-Hibri and her husband Ahmad, April 2023*

It is so meaningful for me to receive your messages on how a particular story I shared moved you. Some of you even share your own personal stories in response, which is such a blessing, and really the intention of my storytelling and the “30 Days” book and journal—to encourage you to recall your own memories and write them down.

This is exactly what happened after I shared “What would you keep?” about my dad’s porcelain figurine. After reading that newsletter, Dr. Azizah al-Hibri wrote about something that holds special meaning for her; it was a gift to receive her story, and she said I could share it with you too. I think it beautifully rounds out “30 Days” of storytelling; it even answers a question from the 30 Days journal about recounting a particular kindness that stays with you.

Dr. Azizah is the Founder of KARAMAH: Muslim Women Lawyers for Human Rights, Professor Emerita at the University of Richmond School of Law, and a respected scholar on women in Islam. Her story reveals a more intimate side of her. That’s what our stories do—allow us to see that our very human foibles, fears, and frailties are not so unique after all.

“Every once in a while, when I am organizing my drawers, I come across a grey elephant head rubber ball that I have held on to for over 25 years. Nothing is more valuable to me than this ball. It is a symbol of so many things in my life that appeared to be falling apart at one point; but most of all it is a symbol of true love.

I woke up one morning in Richmond with excruciating pain in both my hands. I could hardly wash my face. I could barely dress myself to go to teach. I did not know what hit me. My husband Ahmad worked in DC and had an apartment there. We met over the weekends. I did not want to worry him about my condition and went right after class to see my doctor. He gave me the news: it was rheumatoid arthritis.

That weekend, when Ahmad came home, he found me helpless, wrapping my hands at night with bandages made from cotton cloth dipped in boiled ginger water. This made my hands feel less stiff in the morning. Still, I dreaded the morning, getting out of bed, getting into the shower, getting dressed, but most of all I dreaded brushing my teeth.

I just could not get a grip on the slim handle of my toothbrush, and the repeated attempts were quite painful. My eyes would well up with tears. Ahmad offered to brush my teeth for me, but I refused. He was very sweet, but how could I become so helpless? He started returning to Richmond every evening and driving to DC before sunrise. It was an exhausting schedule, but he happily did it, and never let me feel that it was a burden on his health.

During that period, as we struggled with my inability to brush my teeth, Ahmad brought me as a gift this grey elephant head rubber ball. I looked at it and thought it was cute, but did not understand. Ahmad then took the ball from my half-closed hand and stuck my tooth brush in it. He then handed it back to me. I clutched it. It was big and soft and my fingers could gently hold on to it without pain. That was the day I regained my independence. I could brush my own teeth like I used too, with very little pain.

Today, and every time I see my rubber ball, I see before me true love and the deep kindness of a husband who understood my need for independence and personal dignity, and he found a creative, loving, and fun way to get me there.”

Excited!

Very excited and humbled to be selected as one of the Women Who Soar 2023, the inaugural list of women leaders excelling in their field while building bridges, by the American Pakistan Foundation. Thank you to APF for this generous honor.

Thank you to The Muslim Vibe for your interest in the “30 Days” project and in the power of sharing stories. Hope you’ll take a look at this article that highlights this year’s theme.

Eid Mubarak!

Eid Mubarak from our family to all who celebrated! Thank you so much for following “30 Days” of storytelling this Ramadan and for reading a few extra newsletters this month. I’ll continue to share our stories on a regular schedule, one or two each month.