He's Still the One

On our 27th wedding anniversary today, I wanted to share this post from '30 days 30 gratitudes'. Anniversary celebrations don't necessarily have to mean romantic dinners for two. For us, the important thing is being together (Arif was supposed to travel to Europe today but he postponed it until tomorrow); having our kids with us (Saanya came home for the weekend!); and having a few moments to be together as a family (we BBQ'd, with Saanya's NYU friends who came to visit). It was a good day. Alhum.What do you call your best friend, first love, life partner and rock all in one? I call him my yaar.We met more than 25 years ago. He was cooking in a dorm room at Columbia. I was dropping off a dish I had prepared for the potluck dinner hosted by the Organization of Pakistani Students. As he likes to tell the story – I walked into the suite, he turned around and saw me, and poured the whole bottle of red pepper in his curry! That evening, he tried to impress me – with his knowledge of world politics, his worldliness, his travels across the globe. I wasn’t the least bit interested. You have to imagine, here’s a guy wearing a blazer, bow tie and suspenders, speaking in a thick English accent, looking and sounding a bit too full of himself; and there I was, shy and reserved, hardly haven spoken to a boy in high school, feeling way too self conscious and nervous, just waiting for an excuse to leave. For the next two years, he persisted – changing his major so he could enroll in the same classes as me, tucking poems and roses in my library locker, being his incredibly charming self with my parents, and convincing me that I could be anything I wanted to be. It was irresistible.We celebrated 23 years this summer – a life full of travel, fun, adventure, unforgettable experiences, two amazing kids, and yes, some pain and heartache along the way. He still makes me laugh, holds me up when I’d rather fall, polishes off my sensitivities, and lets me believe that I can do anything.