Deeds: Caring 101

As a parent, one of the hardest things I find is to teach my kids perspective and restraint, in circumstances where they have so much and the possibility for even more, and in a world that encourages excess.  The following experience, from year one of our blog, captures the constant struggle. Often I loose, but sometimes we win. Before we left home, I had a long conversation with my nine year old Zayd. I explained to him that we were going to Staples to shop for school supplies for deserving children in Montgomery County. I asked him gently to please not ask for anything for himself, that this trip was about doing something good for someone else. I reminded him that I’ve already ordered his school supplies and that they would be sitting on his desk on the first day of school. And of course I told him that he really didn’t need any more pens or pencils — our house is overflowing with them.So what happens within the first minute of walking into Staples. “Mama, pleeeeezzz, I really need the mechanical pencils with the extra thick lead that never break.”Deep breath.Zayd was in charge of selecting the supplies. I showed him the sale circular, so he could choose more items for the $20 we had planned to spend. We walked aisle by aisle. He selected notebooks, loose leaf paper, pencil boxes, pens, pencils — stopping to ask if he could get this or that every time something exciting caught his eye.Deep breath.How do we explain to our children to not want, everything, all the time. How do we teach them that most of the children in the world have far less, and are far more content. We managed to make it to the cash register with just items to donate in our trolley. As I reached for my credit card, Zayd pulled out a $20 bill from his pocket. “I’d like to buy this with my Eidee money, mama.”Smile.