Day 22: "Doctor, Is this My Last Ramadan?"

Guest blogger: A heart wrenching, heart warming memory by a new friend I met through this blog, Uzma Iqbal from HoustonI met a terrified Sana when she was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer; she was frightened by the ominous lump in her chest. With her new job, things were finally looking up for Sana and her family, as hopes were high to achieve previously elusive financial stability. However, her optimism was short lived, as the disease weakened her to the point of physical collapse at her own workplace.In spite of her best efforts, Sana was unable to falsely reassure herself of her disease’s slowing down, as X-Rays revealed that the cancer was beginning to spread. She was diagnosed a month before that year’s Ramadan. When Ramadan started, she asked if she could postpone chemotherapy in order to fast. I explained to her that her cancer was very aggressive and postponing chemotherapy would jeopardize her life. Reluctantly, she decided to forego the fast.For five years, Sana’s burning desire to see her daughter’s nursing school graduation fought valiantly against the hardships of disease. Optimism against fatigue, spirit against decay. Sana’s determined heart against her aggressive disease.Ramadan came around once more, and in all of her bravery, Sana asked again if she would be able to fast. I gave the same reply, but her next response truly startled me. Sana asked “doctor, is this my last Ramadan?”   I had no choice but to give the honest answer, so I replied “Yes, Sana. This may be your last Ramadan.” We once more discussed her daughter’s graduation, mere months away, before she left the clinic.A week later, on her next visit, Sana requested that she be taken off chemotherapy in order to fast through her final Ramadan. “Allah has blessed me with 5 years to spend with my family and I want to thank Him,” she told me, as she explained the reasoning behind her bold decision. I explained to her that halting the chemotherapy would almost certainly result in further progression of her disease, but she was determined to express her immense gratitude and take full advantage of what she truly saw as a blessing. Her conviction was undeniable, so I accepted her decision to fast for her final Ramadan.As the month went along, Sana gave me updates on how her fasts were going. On the day of Eid, I met Sana, weakened to the point of being confined to a wheelchair, but brimming with a feeling of gratitude and accomplishment. Two weeks after Eid, she passed away. Three months later, her daughter graduated from nursing school.Every Ramadan since then, I always remember Sana. I remember her bravery in her decision to fast in the face of difficulty. I remember her burning desire to be there for her daughter and to express gratitude. I remember how she truly coveted Ramadan as a gift. But most of all, I remember her question to me: “Doctor, is this my last Ramadan,” and it always makes me reflect upon how I may one day find myself asking the same question. Ramadan is a blessing and gift for us to seize and take full advantage of. As the Prophet (SAW) said:“Take benefit of five before five:your youth before your old age,your health before your sickness,your wealth before your poverty,your free-time before your preoccupation,and your life before your death.”Day 22, Tradition 22: Living Each Ramadan to its Fullest