Day 20: “For Mommy, and Daddy, and Leila”

Guest blogger: My dear cousin ShireenFor those of you who have been charmed by little Zaynu, you can absolutely picture this negotiation happening, with the most endearing facial expressions, intonations and hand gestures.  No one can resist our sweet Zaynu! As the parents of two young children, the last few Ramadans have proven difficult. Timing bedtime around iftaar, waking up multiple times in the night with the kids, then again for suhoor and then keeping up with two kids (not to mention work!) all day while trying to squeeze in time for spiritual reflection and prayer was no easy taskBut this year was going to be different. Our two kids, now 14 months, and 4.5 years, have finally gotten into a consistent routine of going to bed by 8:30 and (generally) sleeping through the night. But as anyone who has parented a young child knows…the only consistency is the inconsistency.After two evenings of on time bed time and peaceful iftaars, on the third night of Ramadan, the schedule got derailed by a series of small unpredictable events that included a chipmunk rescue in our front lawn and a cupcake delivery by our neighbors and at 8:37 my son was still not asleep.“Okay, Zayn, mama has to go down now and break my fast.”“But mama, you did not lay with me for the usual time,” Zayn replied with tears filling his eyes.“Zayn, you are a big boy,” I said going the tough love route, “and I know you can fall asleep on your own. Daddy and I will be right down stairs.” I tucked him in as he started to cry and walked out of the room.As I got to the kitchen, I realized there was no way I was going to break my fast with a crying kid upstairs. My husband had the same thought and went up to calm him down.“Mama,” called Zayn from the landing of the stairs a minute later. “Daddy had a great idea, I can break fast with you and then go to sleep.”I smiled, accepted that my plans had been foiled, but had been replaced by a beautiful time with my quickly growing son. As he shared a date with me, munched on chips and drank water, he asked us why we are fasting. We explained that it is important for us to always be grateful for all the wonderful food, and the nice things that we have. We explained that by fasting, it helps us remember those who don’t have these things. He continued munching on his chips, and nodded silently seeming to absorb that concept. I glanced at my husband and we shrugged at each other… maybe it translated in his four year old brain, or maybe not.Zayn then negotiated that if he could pray with us, then he’d “go right to sleep.” He proudly recited Surah Fatiha on his own and as we finished the evening prayer, we asked him, “Is there anything you’d like to thank Allah for today?”He nodded and said, “Yes, for Mommy, and Daddy, and Leila…” going on to list all of our family by name, and, he added, “for my toys and all the nice food.”My husband and I smiled over his head. It turns out it did click for Zayn and looks like we will be starting the tradition of breaking fast with our kids (a little earlier than I expected!). InshAllah, we will begin to pass on to them the beauty of Islam and the lessons and traditions we have learned from our families, adapting them for our growing children.Day 20, Tradition 20: Breaking fast with our kids